This morning I found myself in a local Starbucks down in Georgia pondering what I was going to blog about when I noticed that someone was starring in my direction. When I looked up I looked at the familiar face that I did not yet recognize, I gave a half smile and then went back to writing my thoughts. As I went back to work I recalled the face to be the dance team coach that used to work for my partner and I when we owned the football team.
As I was lost in my thoughts and going back to the subject of writing I noticed out of the corner of my eye her husband walking in my direction whom I, again did not recognize at first, and he lend towards my direction and softly said, “If I ever see you here again I will kill you.”
I was stunned so I asked the question, “In Starbucks or Columbus?” I wanted to know my boundaries for obvious reasons.
“In this Starbucks or you can give me $10,000.” And then he walked away.
Why does he want to kill me? I really have no idea. And why does he feel like I owe him $10,000? Again that is a very good question to which I do not have the answer. But, as I was thinking when he walked away here is a couple who successfully negotiated a new football team to come into town causing our lease to be cancelled, team to be homeless, me to file bankruptcy and my partner to climb deeply into debt yet they still are holding bitterness in their heart towards me.
The reason why I did not recognize them at first is because I have not seen them in more than three years and have forgiven them of the wrong that was done. Honestly, I have moved on and rarely have even given a thought in their direction.
I tell this story for two reasons, one if I end up dead you know that I visited the Starbucks again and he saw me (don’t worry I also filed a police report) and secondly to demonstrate the power of forgiveness. I know that many of you reading this article right now have been through theft, sexual abuse, verbal attacks, unfaithful partners and the list goes on but as long as you hold a grudge against the people who offended you, then you give them power over you. However, when you forgive and release them then you no longer have to live with the memory of the insult and abuse that they cast in your direction. You are free to move on. But, until you move on that person continues to hurt you everyday of your life, or at least as often as you choose to remember.
So how do you forgive? How do you release the person of a wrong? Each person is different therefore their journey will be different but for me I pray that blessings will be bestowed upon them and that God will forgive them for the wrong that they have done in my life. Then I edify them to people who bring up their name and in some cases give them a gift in secret or openly. Only when you forgive will you obtain the power over your life in that area.
I am not saying that the process is easy but I am saying that it is worth it. Forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling. You first have to choose to forgive and then eventually the feeling will follow.
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