In my life I have developed insecurities as a result of people judging me. In my youth I can remember singing in church next to someone that I greatly admire and he told me that my singing voice sounded like a dying cow (or something to that effect). Now I do not have the world’s greatest singing voice but I know that I can carry a note however, his judgment of my voice developed insecurity in my life. Now whenever someone says something that is halfway judgmental about my singing voice it adds fuel to the fire or worse I judge myself out loud before I even sing saying, “Do you have your ear plugs in?” or something to that nature.
People Judge You Based on Their Insecurity
Years later I have realized two things regarding judgment. First if you confront someone they will not admit to judging you and second people judge you in the areas where they are insecure. I have found that people who have judged my relationship with God did not have the strongest prayer life. Those who judged my youthful accomplishments were insecure about the goals that they have achieved. Those who were critical of my confidence lacked self-esteem.
When individuals judge you they think they are saying, “I am better in this area than you so you should to listen to me.” (Though they will not admit this) But in actuality what they are saying is, “I have this problem too that is why I recognized it in you.” Have you ever purchased a new or used car and when you drove it off the lot you thought to yourself, “I am the only one in this town driving this vehicle.” Only to discover after a couple of weeks of driving that most everyone in town is driving the same make or model of your new car? The same is true for the issues of life you see what you look for. The reason others can see issues in your life is due to the fact that they know exactly what those issues look like because they live with them everyday of their life.
Uh-Oh
My big uh-oh moment came about a couple of years after I first got this revelation when I realized that I was not immune to this principle. I had issues in the areas where I judged people and became highly opinionated. I would say things like, “I would never… I cannot believe… How could they…” I can spot pride, poverty mindsets and insecurity a mile away. Do you know why?
One exception to this rule is when someone has overcome a particular issue and they approach you out of a spirit of love in order to help you overcome your deficiency. Love conquers all and you will know when a person is genuinely approaching you out of a heart of concern.
Though I do not remember exactly who said this I believe that this quote applies, “When you look at someone and see good emulate that quality, when you see bad look to yourself.” If the people in your life doubt your dreams, attractiveness, value, financial or emotional stability don’t take it personal. Just realize that their judgment shows where they are and their judgment does not mean you are deficient. But, also realize that the things you judge others for you do. Stop living in the minds and lives of other people and spend your time focusing on what you desire to achieve and you will reach your goals much faster.