tips to finding confidence and self esteem

Robert Schuller said that the greatest problem with Christians is not sin but their lack of confidence and self esteem. Let’s be honest we all suffer from insecurity in one area or another. For me I can remember singing in church one Sunday when my dad told me in not so many words that my singing voice sounded bad. Now, every time I have to sing I still feel embarrassed about the way my voice sounds. Then another insecurity developed in me regarding my business sense and my ability to be a successful person when the football team failed and the media began slandering me. Then to exacerbate the situation I had to file bankruptcy, lost my house, my car broke down and had to sleep on the floor for the next year.

So how do you begin to build self-confidence in an area where you have none? You have to attack your insecurity. The only way to build something is to focus on the positive outcome in the negative area. Let’s say that you want to build a house, and that house we will call confidence, on a track of land that is hilly and is covered with trees and underbrush, which we will call insecurity. In order to build the house you do not look at the land and point out why it’s so bad. You look for the opportunity. After evaluating what needs to be done you would hire someone to cut down the trees and clear out the brush and then level out the land. Then you would hire someone to dig the foundation and build the home. The same can be said for building your self-esteem.

When you realize that you have insecurity in an area you have to attack that area. Yes, it hurts and feels uncomfortable but that is the only way to grow. For me it was starting another business where I could openly and honestly talk through my pains, struggles and weaknesses. For you it could be signing up for toastmasters if you are scared to talk in front of people, hiring a personal trainer if you are overweight or asking the girl on a date who you feel is too attractive for you. When you attack your insecurity you will build confidence and self-esteem. Remember that action always trumps feelings. If you feel insecure in a situation but act contrary to your insecurity then you are building confidence. And when you act against that insecurity long enough your insecurity will become an area of confidence. So fake it till you make it.

To conclude I want to leave you with this story as food for thought:

When Victore Seribriakoff was 15 years old his teacher told him he would not finish school and that he should drop out and learn a trade. Victore followed her advice and spent 17 years doing various jobs while drifting through life. At the age of 32 he took an IQ test and scored a 161, showing that he was a genius. He then began acting like that genius. Seribriakoff went on to write several books, secured many patents, and became a successful businessman. Later on he was voted in as chairman of the International Mensa Society, which is a society of other geniuses whose only criteria for admission is scoring a 140 on their IQ test. Greatness always dwelt on the inside of him but it was not until he acted did the genius within manifest.

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