So here it is love is in the atmosphere and you find your perfect mate. That person is the person of your dreams and in your eyes they can do no wrong. The emotion is running on full throttle, your love tank is filled to the brim and running over and all everything about your love is perfect. Then the weeks turn into months and the months into years and you begin to notice subtle changes at first, things you seemingly overlooked in the mist of all the emotion, and then comes the progressively bigger issues until you meet the one flaw that you just cannot get over. Maybe that flaw is a belief about God, family or life; or you notice a certain attribute that you find repulsive such as excessive drinking, laziness, self-centeredness or constant nagging. If you are not married you begin thinking about options of departing. If you are married you first berate yourself about getting into the relationship in the first place and then you try to justify a way out.
But, did the person whom you loved so deeply in the beginning change that much or did your preception of who they are change? The saying that love is blind is simply not true. In the beginning you did not see the flaws of the individual with whom you are with because everyone is on their best behavior and you are still getting to know that person. But, as familarity sets in so does comfort and those bad habits and less than desirable attributes begin to show. I believe that true love cannot be truly expressed until you have every reason to walk away from the relationship but you choose to stay. When you can say that then you can say that you are for real in love with that person.
O.k. but what do you do when you are experiencing attributes and flaws that you never thought possible in the person with whom you are in a relationship with? Outside of abuse, illegal activity and unfaithfulness you have to evaluate if you really love that person and if you are willing to put in the effort to stay. If you are married, you have already made the commitment so you simply need to reconnect with that promise. Once decided make a decision of what you choose to believe about your love. Then verbalize that statement and look for signs that they are fulfilling that statement of love and soon you will see a completely different person than the person that you thought you could not stand.
Anthony Robins partnered up with his wife Sage and created a great video on this subject and I highly encourage you to watch it. In this video he describes the progression of falling out of love and then teaches you how reconnect with the love you once knew. Following this video make the commitment to rediscover your love on this Valentine’s Day.
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